I Want To Kill My Spouse

You would be an unusual married person if you never had strong negative feelings about your spouse at some point during your relationship. Someone said the definition of passion is when you love someone just a little bit more than you hate them. Our society tells us that we should always love our spouses and children but it is entirely natural and normal to have many negative thoughts about the people we love. Why wouldn't you hate the person who at times makes extra work for you, spends money foolishly, and ignores your needs. That doesn't mean you don't also love this person. Therefore, do not chastise yourself for occasionally thinking negative thoughts about someone you love. And don't be surprised if someone who you think loves you also sometimes has very negative thoughts about you.

If we're doomed to have to live with conflicting feelings in our most intimate relationships, expect to occasionally have the negative feelings go out of balance and dominate your more positive thoughts. Even when divorcing, you do not have to let your negative thoughts get amplified out of proportion and distort your perspective of your spouse. Often, lawyers and the legal system encourage you to attack your spouse and foster you to run wild with your negative feelings. There are times when it is important to concentrate on the bad aspects of another person, but keep in mind that there were reasons you loved this person at one time, that those qualities were at one time predominate, and that if you have genetic children with this person - half of your child is carrying this person's genes.

Even if the marriage is over and your relationship with your spouse has to change, consider whether you want to emphasize only the negative aspects of your spouse and attack with all your might. Certainly, you can do that and litigating attorneys make lots of money when you do. You can expect an attacked person to potentially attack back however. You might want to consider whether that is how you want to conduct yourself, whether starting or continuing a fight is productive in the long run and what the impact is on your children, relatives, friends, career, community and wallet when you do escalate a shoving match.

There are consequences to going full speed ahead with litigation. Be aware of the impact of starting a war. There are alternatives to telling the world in a public document all the reasons your spouse is a lousy parent. There are methods of divorcing that recognize you and your spouse both have faults and positives aspects to your personalities and parenting styles. Collaborative Divorce is designed to promote the positive aspects of your relationship, support both of you as you transform into a different relationship and strengthen both of your abilities to support your children. Consider, the costs of running with your homicidal thoughts about your spouse before you choose the way to divorce. Consider Collaborative Divorce. See www.lesshurtdivorce.com